Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

This video has been floating around a long with its ‘Female’

rebuttal. But the conversation never gets old. I can’t tell you

from my own experience, my girlfriends and through the

blogs sphere -how often this topic comes up. Dating these

men are for more challenging then necessary, kinda makes

it feel like a game of sorts. But aren’t we too old at this point

to play ‘I have a fear of commitment’ or ‘Its me not you’ or

my favorite ‘I got played before, when I loved someone and

I cant let you in yet‘ (after a year + change). Check out the

video below.

The Chase…how it was fun when we were young and dumb.

Chilvary is dead and Hip-Hop killed it. The days of being courted are

long and gone. Even the simplicity of being a kid and the boy that liked

you slipped you this note:

…is gone to the wind. It seems that dating is the cat and mouse game

that will never end in this day an age. A mans fear of commitment will have

you strung a long for years (if your that patient) to finally say lets jump the

broom, after we’ve had 3 kids and lived in this apartment forever. (scenario)

Or a woman’s long list of rules may keep her from the man of her dreams

because she can’t see past his name tag at her local Cafe.

I say this to say that our 20′s are a great time for discovery, triumphs, leaps,

career goals sought after and mistakes in heap piles to climb over.

But I can’t help but be sad for us (black community of daters), so misguided by

the nonsense. I’m the girl that has been hollered at by the dude working at Jiffy

Lube to the Wall Street Broker in his Brooks Brothers suit, you name it I’ve seen it.

One thing, both men from different paths have in common, is the FACT that they

wanted ME to CHASE them. Call this my pet peeve or my one deal breaker, after

the initial hello, pleasantries, exchange of a number and or bbm pin and the 1st date,

I am NOT chasing you. I am not calling down your phone, compiling texts nor running

to your beck and call. Sorry. What happened to compromise, a lot of women have settled

for the Chase (but in my head wasn’t that the mans job?) and this allows a lot of men

to feel as though they can pull this with every woman they meet.

Whatever happened to planning, instead of calling at 9pm about going out (last minute!!)

or my favorite – lingering around the fact that you want ‘company’ or the fact that you

miss her? Dudes have no way of discussing what they are feeling because of the

Mach0-I-Am-Man-Hear-Me-Roar isms… Now don’t get me wrong I don’t appreciate

a bitch ass dude, crying about not seeing me and or why I didn’t call him back… see my

previous post on an EMO-Man and Male/Female Role Reversal.

But where’s the balance? Or has society really screwed the scheme of dating, with

men feeling all black women are gold diggers or women feeling that dudes ‘aint shit’

24-7. Can we break down all of the crap and get back to romance or has that ship sailed?

Thoughts?

Did it ever occur to you maybe he just doesn’t care?

Harsh? Well it’s like that at times. In dating we tend to think

that once we’ve gotten past the pleasantries of date 1 and or

date 2 that all is well in the world. NOT! The playing ‘getting

to know you’ is all in all a learning process about one another.

But here’s a couple of clues on when the dude is just not all there

with you!

#1 He only calls you at night: If you have already had sex and it’s

become a sexual relationship, and no dates, he’s not into you

he’s into it being sex and that is it.

(and ladies there is no time frame on this don’t feel trapped on the 1st nighter tip-

to each his/her own)

#2 When you guys talk he forgets key things that you have spoken about:

Girl he is not listening to you, in one ear and out the other with a couple of

head nods for reinforcement. Men know when they are fully interested in a

woman from the gate and when they are not, so the head nods are pacifying

but if you asked him “hey remember when I told you about x y z and then…”

and he says no. He’s not paying you attention move along.

#3 He considers you one of the boys: Yes he calls you to talk about general

things including other chicks he is seeing. You can’t really get a date out of

him because for him there is no spark just friendship. So its a matter of

accepting that friendship or giving him the boot because he’s not into you

in the dating aspect.

#4 He calls you when he wants to go to the club: Yes you are simply arm candy!

Going to the club with his friends just so he can look like he’s ‘doing it’ and of

course he always wants to either go home with you or you go back to his place.

If your that girl and you nip that in the bud -good for you. If you haven’t please

check on it asap. There’s no future in club hopping with a guy sorry.

#5 He never answers his phone: He’s Just Not That Into You! So loose his #

and keep it moving!

** Just a couple of tidbits, utilize them, think about them and keep it cute!

Been relatively uninspired…and I refuse to give my readers

bullshit and call myself a blogger at the same time, as so many

bloggers do. So I’m sorry for my lack of posts, its been a busy

time for me as well – assimilating to practically a new life in

a new city…i’ve given posts but to me not of the caliber at which

I’m used to.  I will definitely be doing a post on the changes the

move and outlook on the future……thanks for reading and stay

tuned… Also I’ve been tumbling check me out

minascope.tumblr.com